I am no joker ...

I am just gonna be.
No longer god’s joker.
No imagined favourite child.
I am not going to gush
or jump in elation
every time I think I see his sign.
If he waves at me
I ain't waving back.
I am just gonna be.
His timing sucks,
his humour is worse.
If he thinks I am a bad sport
I don’t care.
I am just gonna be.
Tried talking to him last nite
Told him we are splitting.
Baby, he said with a grin,
You would be back.
Remember, I own the cards
and you are still my joker.
And ...
the joker never
becomes the queen.


- Srividya Srinivasan 18.11.2010

Pain ...

When there is nothing left in you to say,
it is better to say nothing at all.

-- Srividya Srinivasan

Life ...

I have moved when I should have waited,
Waited when I should have moved.
Believed when I should have given up,
Given up when I should have believed.
Been silent when I should have spoken,
Spoken when I should have been silent.
Said ‘No’ when I should have said ‘Yes’
and ‘Yes’ when I should have said ‘No’.
Smiled when I should have cried.
Cried when I should have smiled.
Risked when I should have played safe,
Played safe when I should have risked.
Acted smart when I was being dumb
Dumb when the world thought me smart.
Brave when I trembled inside,
Trembled when the world thought me brave.
Broken when people thought me strong,
Strong when they thought me weak.
Trusted when I was cheated,
Cheated when I was trusted.
Died when I should have lived,
Living when I could have died.


---- Srividya Srinivasan 23/09/2010

Dream lover ...

No more tears my darling
Shh, for I am here beside.
Hug me tight, my dearest
I am never gonna leave your side.

Let me wipe your tears
Let me erase the pain
From those who were before me
who wiped the child off ur face.

And when you are strong, I will smile
and watch you walk tall with pride
and turn to the world and say
that's her. she is mine.

When you are down, I will be beside
behind, ahead and all over you.
And when you want to walk alone
I will wait and watch
And when the woman turns into the lil girl
there I will be with my arms opened wide.

You come in with ur flirty smile
and as you turn around i smile
is it you or is it me
are we one ?

The tears remain.
The pain remains.
I am cold.
Beaten and bruised.
The scars remain.
You came in my dream
and left again.

Dream lover, were you ever mine ?

-- Srividya Srinivasan